The Official Review Thread of 2006

[MovieWes]

anonymous, you seem like a very nice fellow, but can you please adhere to the customs of the board regarding this thread? There are films, like Pirates, that have their own threads, and all reviews should be placed there. This is a thread specifically set up for minor or obscurer films that don't rate a section of their own. Thank you for your attention.

I write this on behalf of Sonic Youth, who seems to be AWOL lately, but who initially established this thread and has groaned mightily at the usurping of his original intention.

It was anonymous who created this thread, not Sonic Youth.

[criddic3]

I know we all have different feelings about movies we saw when we were young -- at 7, I loved The Shaggy Dog. But doesn't there come a time to put aside the things of a child? It's frightening to hear legit critics call crapola like the original Poseidon Adventure -- a movie we laughed at in '72-- a classic. I've also heard Caddyshack, an intermittently amusing piece of dreck, referred to as comedy gold. Is having made money in its day the only standard? Will Armageddon be labelled an action masterpiece 25 years hence?

Actually, considering that Poseidon Adventure and Superman gained much of a following among audiences and many critics in their time, I do not think your assessment is accurate. I wasn't alive in 1972 and I was only barely so in 1978, so I don't know how the kids in those years looked at those films. However, judging from numerous reviews and awards each film received, I can see that substantial number of people saw worth in them.

The fact that each are considered classics today, despite not being across-the-board critical faves is not just based on the dumbing down of movies today, but on the special place they have in people's hearts and memories. Poseidon is not a great movie, but a fun one with solid production values and some memorable scenes. Superman I described from my point-of-view before. It is a treasure in my opinion. A good story, told in epic fashion but in a fun and exciting way, with great effects and solid performances from most of its cast.

It's true that the Krypton sequence is not the best of the movie, but it does set up the basis for the story in both of the first two films. Brando was earnest, but isn't given a whole lot to do except make solemn predictions of the planet's destruction.

Since this conversation has been replaced by stories of Christopher Reeve's apparent rejection of a kid's autograph request, I must say that it doesn't really take away from his performance. A lot of actors do strange things, and so I try to separate the actor from their work. Otherwise, there would be few I could honestly praise. Besides, Reeve himself admitted on Inside the Actor's Studio that he had been somewhat arrogant in his more youthful days before the accident, and that he didn't fully appreciate his life until it happened.

I have only had one encounter with a major star: Isabella Rossellini. She comes into my store once in a great while, and once -a few years ago- she bought a magazine at my register. Nothing fancy. I chose not to make a fuss, but offered to find a better copy of the magazine for her (the edge was slightly ripped.) She said it was okay. That was that. She seemed nice. Certainly she doesn't seem to mind going to regular stores by herself (or with her kids occassionally). Since she travels a lot, I don't see her in the store very often. Maybe once or twice a year.

[Mister Tee]

anonymous, you seem like a very nice fellow, but can you please adhere to the customs of the board regarding this thread? There are films, like Pirates, that have their own threads, and all reviews should be placed there. This is a thread specifically set up for minor or obscurer films that don't rate a section of their own. Thank you for your attention.

I write this on behalf of Sonic Youth, who seems to be AWOL lately, but who initially established this thread and has groaned mightily at the usurping of his original intention.

[anonymous1980]

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
Cast: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Stellan Skasgard, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Kevin R. McNally, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Naomie Harris.
Dir: Gore Verbinski

Well-crafted, entertaining even funny in parts but overall wholly unremarkable and disposable. Depp's fun to watch as usual. Bloom and Knightley sleepwalk through their performances. I'll be seeing the third one definitely.

Oscar Prospects: I think it's this year's Visual Effects front-runner. Also possible: Makeup, Art Direction, Costume Design, Sound, Sound Editing.

Grade: B-

[VanHelsing]

...no one has ever had a good experience with Bebe Neuwirth.

who would want her autograph anyways?

[anonymous1980]

A girl named Rachel Schwartz from the Backstage (where Sonic, dws and I are also regular posters) also keep a similar site chronicling which celebrities are really nice and approachable and who are bitches/a-holes.

I'll try to find the link but I do remember reading that of all the celebrities, no one has ever had a good experience with Bebe Neuwirth. Rude and would often roll her eyes and be visibly annoyed when you ask for her autograph.

[Reza]

Magilla, that is one funny site!

Here are some more samples......for Damien:

''I had the pleasure to wait on Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke with their daughter, when they were still married. Uma was preganant with her second child and looked so cute. Her mother was sitting with them and paid the bill, the tip was a decent 30% but, I didn't really care, I was too busy staring at Ethan. Ethan looked so good,his shirt was half unbuttoned and he wore a straw cowboy hat. Hot!
She has since visited this restaraunt that I work at in the winter with a wooly hat and pink UGG's on. She got take-out for her hungry kids parked outside in their Mercedes station wagon. On a $11 bill she gave me $20 and told me to keep the change. Thats more than genorous for packing womton soup and 2 egg rolls''.

Another:

Despite someone else's Uma at Starbucks experience..... here is mine.

I was adding milk to my coffee and someone asks me for the cream. I grab it and hand it over. There she was with a smile on her face. Like a star struck idiot I said.... "Uma?".

And in a perfectly Uma moment... she extends her hand and says "Thurman" with a sly smile. JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES.

It was awesome.

She really is beautiful.

Another:

Jennifer Connelly who believe it or not is even more beautiful in person then on film stopped by my Starbucks in jeans and a simple t shirt and ordered a latte. I asked her if she was indeed the very same Jennifer Connelly from "Career Opportunities"? she laughed and said,why of all the movies I've been in is that the one everyone remembers most? Anyway, she actually hung out for a bit chatting with the staff and signing autographs... very, very cool lady!!

Uma Thurman on the other hand cant be bothered to even say good morning, thank you or even look up.


Another:

This has nothing to do with restaurants but Ethan Hawke was at a strip club the week of the SAG awards last year and he was really nice. He spent about a $1000 on one girl. Very shy and quiet and told every girl she was beautiful.

Another:

My friends & I walked into this little cafe in Woodstock, NY and I was trying to decide on what pastry to order. As we are in line, there is a very tall, pregnant woman & man in front of us, who looked like they hadn't bathed in a week, much like homeless people except for the woman having a clean coat. Initially, I had no idea who they were. Ethan looked especially grungy/filthy, with his hair completely matted. He had on a flannel, dirty ripped shirt and pants that looked like they had not been washed for days.

Uma kept turning around trying to get noticed, but I had no idea on who they were. She finally walked to the side counter & started saying "Ethan, Ethan...look over here.....Eeeethan, Eeeeethan". I was wondering why are these people making a spectacle of themselves?


So my friend said "Oh my God, that is Uma Thurman & Ethan Hawke." I was incredulous...they looked as though they were homeless. Speaking of myself, being the average person, if I left my house- I personally would NEVER go out of my house looking like that.


Uma than looked right at me, then at her husband & said "Ethan Hawke...come her!". It was so ridiculous on how she wanted to be noticed. I would never have wanted anyone to notice what I looked like if I was that scrungy looking. I ignored her, like she was any other person on the street. They sat down, ate , then left WITHOUT LEAVING ANY TIP!!! She walked out to the parking lot. I looked out as they left...they parked their SUV in a handicapped parking spot. How inconsiderate!

[Big Magilla]

Actually I don't have Reeve's autograph even though I sent him requests many times. Either the addresses were wrong or he was just plain mean and didn't really care about fan-mail. I'm surprised though because usually actors who have a stage background are fairly generous with autographs.

The best are the Brits - always very generous with giving autographs - invariably they all have a stage background. Also very generous are stars from ''old Hollywood'' simply because they understood the role played by fans in their careers. Alas ''old Hollywood'' has only remnants left now.

Then I guess the incident at the post office was typical of him. If you want to know who's approachable and who isn't go to www.bitterwaitress.com where waiters and waitresses talk about their encounters with celbes, inlcuding who will sign an autograph and who won't. Here's a sample:

I had just started my shift around 5pm and I was waiting on this one family when I saw Jennifer Aniston came in the restaurant with a man. I went to the hostess and I asked her if she could sit Jennifer at one of my tables, because my daughter loves her and i thought that maybe I could ask her for an autograph. So the hostes did what I asked her to, and i was really friendly and ofcourse attentive. So after the two were done eaing, Jennifer asked me for the bill and before I went to get it I asked her if she could please sign a piece of paper for my daughter and she just grabbed the paper and pen that i held out for her out of my hands withou repling. So when went back to the table to give her the bill she still hadn't signed it so I left it there for her to do. When I saw them leaving I went back to the table and I saw that she had drew a wierd looking cartoon on the paper! on top of that she only left me $3.57 on a $58.39 bill!

[Hustler]

Rocky Balboa is scheduled to be released by the end of the year.

[Penelope]

By the way...I'm not sure if we were expecting this one to flop (I imagine we were)...I hate to be the one to break the news to Sylvester Stallone, but audiences (at least the one I was with in Pirates 2) are jeering and laughing at the trailer for Rocky Balboa (ie, Rocky VI).

[Reza]

Well I have yet to receive one from Hawke. Lord knows I've tried each time he was appearing on stage in New York. No luck so far. And I lost a number of photos each time.

One has to assume that Thurman had someone intercept your requests before Ethan received them, in an attempt to make him look bad to the public. And undoubtedly she paid off the person stealing his mail by offering her tired, well-worn body.

By the way I have Uma Thurman's autograph!

Damien, maybe you can help me get Ethan's autograph next time he is on stage? Since you are wily enough to think two steps ahead of the ''slut'', you could prevent her from intercepting!

[Reza]

Ethan Hawke -- a true saint -- signs his own autographs and gives them generously.

Well I have yet to receive one from Hawke. Lord knows I've tried each time he was appearing on stage in New York. No luck so far. And I lost a number of photos each time.

Yes, but if you do have a pre-accident Chris Reeve autograph it could mean he was just having a bad day when he threw out that kid's request.

Actually I don't have Reeve's autograph even though I sent him requests many times. Either the addresses were wrong or he was just plain mean and didn't really care about fan-mail. I'm surprised though because usually actors who have a stage background are fairly generous with autographs.

The best are the Brits - always very generous with giving autographs - invariably they all have a stage background. Also very generous are stars from ''old Hollywood'' simply because they understood the role played by fans in their careers. Alas ''old Hollywood'' has only remnants left now.

[Big Magilla]

As most of you guys know I'm a big collector of star autographs. There must be countless autographs in my collection with similar stories - other people signing on behalf of actors. Anyway as long as I don't know!

Saint or no saint, I also think Reeve was incedibly wooden as an actor. The role of Superman made whatever career he had.

Ethan Hawke -- a true saint -- signs his own autographs and gives them generously.

Well I have yet to receive one from Hawke. Lord knows I've tried each time he was appearing on stage in New York. No luck so far. And I lost a number of photos each time.

Yes, but if you do have a pre-accident Chris Reeve autograph it could mean he was just having a bad day when he threw out that kid's request.

[anonymous1980]

UNITED 93
Cast: David Alan Basche, Richard Bekins, Susan Blommaert, Ray Charleson, Christian Clemenson, Khalid Abdalla, Lewis Alsamari, Ben Sliney, Maj. James Fox, Gregg Henry, David Rasche.
Dir: Paul Greengrass

Highly effective, nail-biting and absorbing dramatization of the taking of United 93 during 9/11. Greengrass manages to humanize the terrorists, honor the heroism of the passengers and create a tense thriller without feeling too exploitive/sensationalistic or without the feeling of flag-waving, preachy patriotism (or any politcal leanings). The excellent performances of the all-unknown cast lends an air of authenticity to the proceedings.

Oscar Prospects: Deserve nods for Directing, Original Score and Editing.

Grade: A-

[99-1100896887]

LOL!

Cam