Damien Bona 1955-2012

[anonymous1980]

Pina is most likely referring to Wim Wenders' 3D dance documentary on Pina Bausch. He loved it. His review is on the 2011 Review Thread, I think.

I have to say, I wished I had more actively tried to correspond with Damien over the years

[Big Magilla]

I just checked my cell phone and the last text I had from him was "Well, I'm off to see Pina. See you later!" I'm not sure what Pina refers to, but, yes, we'll see you later, Damien.

Pina is Werner Herzog's Oscar nominated documentary about choreographer Pina Bausch.

[flipp525]

So, you see, Damien? You won - I've finally become a Damienite, too.

This just made me smile from ear to ear, Marco.

It's hard to describe what Damien meant to this Board, the Damienites and the Oscars in general (his "Inside Oscar" is, to this day, a revolutionary piece of exhaustive, unique research). His loss is extremely shocking and deeply sad. It also seems particularly cruel for this to have happened to him during awards season, a time when he always had so much astute commentary to offer all of us. I was looking forward to hearing more of his insight into the current political scene as well.

I will always be glad to have shared at least one phone call with him as well as many private messages through the years.

My heart goes out to Ralph and to Damien's mother. R.I.P. Damien. I'm going to watch Make Way for Tomorrow in honor of Damien this week.

I just checked my cell phone and the last text I had from him was "Well, I'm off to see Pina. See you later!" I'm not sure what Pina refers to, but, yes, we'll see you later, Damien.

[ITALIANO]

Strange, isn't it? I'd never thought I'd miss so much someone whom I've never personally met - someone whom I was just in contact with through an internet board. But then, of course, Damien wasn't just a name on a screen; he knew alot about movies (Inside Oscar isn't just a great book about the Academy Awards - it's a great book, simply) but, most importantly, he had his own character, his own personality - and I guess that's what I miss most, his character.

And like for anyone with a character, it wasn't always an easy one (as he would certainly say of mine, with reason). But we live in a time when most people seem to say the same things, to think in the same way, and Damien's personal views on movies, politics, life itself were a welcome exception. He was different - but not because he wanted to be, it was never forced, it was the result of his own personal experiences. This is why his posts - even when one didn't agree with him - were always interesting: they were never banal, they were never "just theory", they felt as if they were filtered through real life. And for this reason they were so unique, so irreplaceable.

It would be easy, in such a moment, to forget about the fights - but it would be a bit hypocritical too. There were fights, it's a fact, but then I would have never fought with someone I didn't respect. Still, especially today, it looks like an absurd waste of energy, and something I will never be especially proud of. I was very glad, relieved even, when that time finished.

Thank God, it wasn't just fights. It's true that we never met in real life, but we were privately in touch - he saw my pictures, we exchanged emails, we even talked on the phone. And privately he was an extremely kind, generous person. I'll never forget how he helped me when a famously difficult, celebrated American director came to Milan and I was sent to interview him - Damien's detailed advices were so good that the director, bored after so many superficial interviews, was obviously pleasantly surprised by my questions. It was a very good interview, I must say, and I owe this to Damien.

Also, I felt that he was what in Italy we call a "persona affettiva": someone who's able and willing to give affection and - probably even more difficult to find today - to receive it. I'm sure that his friends would confirm this.

So, you see, Damien? You won - I've finally become a Damienite, too.

[Big Magilla]

Echoing what Reza said.

Kloppy, eh? I knew you lurked here but could never figure out under what name.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. No one here will ever forget him.

[Reza]

Hi Bill Condon here. I can't tell you how moving it is to see Damien memorialized here. He loved this board -- I think he saw it as the one place where the sensibility of "Inside Oscar" was not only embraced but expanded upon. If it's any consolation, please know that Damien's cardiac arrest sent him into an unconscious state almost instantaneously. He lingered for two weeks, allowing his friends and loved ones to visit and say goodbye. Damien really appreciated the high level of taste and intelligence on this board, and the fact that it wasn't overrun by fans. He also enjoyed gossiping about, arguing with, and often getting to meet, Big Magilla, Sabin, Reza, Okri, bj, Mister Tee, Wesley, Zack of course (I don't mean to leave anyone out), and even Italiano. (Damien described him as "very attractive " -- they either met, or exchanged pictures -- of course this was before loyalty to an old friend created a silly rift.) Damien's unique understanding of how deeply ridiculous and strangely meaningful the Oscars are will never be matched. He was in talks to do an online "Inside Oscar 3," just one of the things we've now lost. Most important, you should all know that his stay at St. Luke's was like a very long scene directed by Leo McCarey. A constant stream of friends, more than you can imagine. His mother Alma and his beloved partner Ralph, who embodied every noble instinct Damien treasured in both the movies and his life. I can't believe he is gone.

Thank you, Bill. Your words mean a lot. I'm very happy to hear that Damien did not suffer and went peacefully. I, for one, will always be grateful to him for the brief conversations we had and especially for all his help during my trip to New York. Through a silly twist of fate we could not meet during my 5 day stay in NY but I'll always remember him through his comments here on this Board and be eternally grateful to him for those two invaluable books. He would also occasionally post very amusing comments on my Facebook page.

He will be greatly missed by me.

[kloppy]

Hi Bill Condon here. I can't tell you how moving it is to see Damien memorialized here. He loved this board -- I think he saw it as the one place where the sensibility of "Inside Oscar" was not only embraced but expanded upon. If it's any consolation, please know that Damien's cardiac arrest sent him into an unconscious state almost instantaneously. He lingered for two weeks, allowing his friends and loved ones to visit and say goodbye. Damien really appreciated the high level of taste and intelligence on this board, and the fact that it wasn't overrun by fans. He also enjoyed gossiping about, arguing with, and often getting to meet, Big Magilla, Sabin, Reza, Okri, bj, Mister Tee, Wesley, Zack of course (I don't mean to leave anyone out), and even Italiano. (Damien described him as "very attractive " -- they either met, or exchanged pictures -- of course this was before loyalty to an old friend created a silly rift.) Damien's unique understanding of how deeply ridiculous and strangely meaningful the Oscars are will never be matched. He was in talks to do an online "Inside Oscar 3," just one of the things we've now lost. Most important, you should all know that his stay at St. Luke's was like a very long scene directed by Leo McCarey. A constant stream of friends, more than you can imagine. His mother Alma and his beloved partner Ralph, who embodied every noble instinct Damien treasured in both the movies and his life. I can't believe he is gone.

[mayukh]

I have been lurking this board for years, and, though I did not get to know Damien personally, I was drawn to (and, not being a regular of this board, at first a little repulsed by) the candidness of his writing. He truly had a distinctive, well-refined palate that I can only hope to develop as I continue to watch movies – never succumbing to popular opinion, but never dissenting for the sake of dissent. His taste has always intrigued me, and at times it has guided me to seek out films I otherwise had very little access to – off the top of my head, The Return of Martin Guerre, Passione d'Amore, early Jonathan Demme. I will miss his musings here so much. For some reason, I am so sad today.

[Uri]

T.N.Z.B.H.

In Hebrew these initials, scribed on many tombstones, mean: May his soul be bundled in the bundle of Life. And it will, for Damien did make an unforgettable impression on those who knew him or, like me, got to know his views. More often than not I found myself not agreeing with him. Passionately. Yet, whenever I came on the board and saw he posted something, I'd read it first. Not only was he a gifted, witty and knowledgeable writer, there was something else. Unfortunately I was too old when I first met him here to become a Damienite, but I could get the very distinctive, alluring charisma he had about him. I was fascinated by the combination of very obvious cultural sophistication, highly advanced political thinking I found admirable and an inherent, and what I found to be very disarmingly American, naïveté. While being intellectually sober, his heartfelt need, when faced with the harsh realities we all live in, to find those angels which are more gracious, more compassionate, while I had hard time accepting, I found extremely endearing. And he genuinely seemed to apply the same benevolent judgment for those he cared about in a most generous way.

And he was a cat person.

I will miss him dearly.

[The Original BJ]

I don't think this board can ever be the same without Damien -- his absence will leave a hole that can never be filled.

I remember the time I met Bill Condon, and told him right away that I knew his friend Damien Bona. Although I never had the opportunity to meet Damien in person, the way Mr. Condon's eyes and face lit up suggested he was a very special human being and friend. We talked about how smart and witty Damien was, and Bill ended up signing a copy of his Chicago script for me with the words, "Any friend of Damien's is a friend of mine." I'm so grateful I still have this script, as a tangible connection -- however small it might be -- to Damien and all of the great memories I have of reading his posts and receiving his insightful private messages over the years.

And, Damien, "In case I don't see you again, well, for a little while, I just want to tell you, it's been lovely, every bit of it."

Rest in peace.

[Okri]

Startled by this doesn't describe my reaction. My mind is reeling right now.

RIP Damien. You will be missed.

[kaytodd]

This is horrible and devastating.

I'm in tears right now, I never thought I would feel so broken up about someone I had never met in person.

God bless you, Damien, for all of the laughs, all of the fun you have contributed to this board, and for all I have learned from you about the movies.

My sentiments exactly. I read a lot of what he wrote in print, on this board, and on Facebook and I know he is a very special person. Intelligence, wit, heart and evidence of a very well informed person poured out of his writings. I envy those of you who knew him personally, I wish I could have had the pleasure of talking about films, books, politics, etc. over a table of good food and beverage.

God Bless you Damien, and your family and loved ones. A candle has been lit in your honor at Saint Matthew The Apostle Church down here in NOLA.

[Sabin]

Part of me wants to recommend instituting the Dramamine and Sominex awards and part of me doesn't like the idea of making anything negative synonymous with Damien Bona on this Board. I'm truly, truly saddened by the suddenness of this and in the age of Facebook how I never pushed for friendship and further correspondence than the admittedly several we've shared over the years on here.

Goodbye, friend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOIZ3RSU1MM

[Reza]

We couldn't meet up with each other in New York. However, we shall meet one day!!

R.I.P.

[anonymous1980]

RIP. good friend.

I remember once you gave me words of encouragement and helpful criticism and advice after reading something that i wrote. I'll never forget that. You are a good man, good friend and good teacher. You'll never be forgotten.