Penelope wrote:Which reminds me of one of the Wit & Wisdom from Datalounge: How do you know when a gay relationship is over? You cum.
sometimes i really hate being gay. not in a larry craig/ted haggard/roy cohen sort of way, but in the sense that men are terrible (myself included). trying to form a loving relationship with a man seems impossible. i know i am only 25 and should not base my opinion on a few bad relationships, but seriously it seems hopeless. i prefer being a gay man to being a straight man or straight woman, but i really wish i could be a lesbian. i am the kind of person who says "i love you" by the second date. i think i am a lesbian trapped in a gay man's body. :p
Rolo,
I have been in a relationship for over 18 years so there is hope. Keep in mind that plenty of straight and lesbian relationships don't last long these days either.
It's just a matter of meeting the right person. I think it helps that my partner and I are both fairly laid back and we have a number of things in common with each other. We have also passed one of the best tests for any relationship - long holdiays away spending weeks at a time together.
That's not to say that it all won't end tomorrow.
"I want cement covering every blade of grass in this nation! Don't we taxpayers have a voice anymore?" Peggy Gravel (Mink Stole) in John Waters' Desperate Living (1977)
flipp525 wrote:Penelope, I'd be curious to know how, or even if, He's Just Not That Into You treats dating in the day world.
How do you mean?
I guess I was just wondering if there were any gay characters in the film. I think you've answered my question.
OH! There are 5 minor gay characters in the film: Rod Keller, Leonardo Nam and Wilson Cruz play Drew Barrymore's co-workers at the gay newspaper; Kevin Connolly is a straight realtor who advertises in said gay newspaper and at an open house meets a gay couple who provide a pithy (and unfunny) comparison about how gay men determine if He's Just Not That Into You (basically, if the glance lasts less than 3 seconds).
Edited By Penelope on 1234203460
"...it is the weak who are cruel, and...gentleness is only to be expected from the strong." - Leo Reston
"Cruelty might be very human, and it might be cultural, but it's not acceptable." - Jodie Foster
flipp525 wrote:Penelope, I'd be curious to know how, or even if, He's Just Not That Into You treats dating in the day world.
How do you mean?
I guess I was just wondering if there were any gay characters in the film. I think you've answered my question. [changed "day" to "gay"...that might've cleared things up... :;):]
Edited By flipp525 on 1234203690
"The mantle of spinsterhood was definitely in her shoulders. She was twenty five and looked it."
flipp525 wrote:Penelope, I'd be curious to know how, or even if, He's Just Not That Into You treats dating in the day world.
How do you mean?
Ginnifer Goodwin goes on dates with guys, exchanges numbers with guys, and is immediately clingy, in that she waits by the phone for the guy to call her, or she immediately presses the guy on WHEN he's going to call her.
Drew Barrymore is trying to meet guys via My Space and other online resources.
Except for the opening date between Goodwin and Kevin Connolly, the movie doesn't even portray the actual dates these people go on. Unless you count the swim between homewrecker Scarlet Johansson and Bradley Cooper as a "date."
"...it is the weak who are cruel, and...gentleness is only to be expected from the strong." - Leo Reston
"Cruelty might be very human, and it might be cultural, but it's not acceptable." - Jodie Foster
Enjoying regular sexual activity doesn't make someone a nymphomaniac, by the way.
And no-strings sex doesn't necessarily equal anonymous sex. Maintaining a casual sexual relationship with someone you know quite well isn't anonymous in the slightest.
Penelope, I'd be curious to know how, or even if, He's Just Not That Into You treats dating in the gay world.
Edited By flipp525 on 1234203650
"The mantle of spinsterhood was definitely in her shoulders. She was twenty five and looked it."
flipp525 wrote:There's something great to be said about good, hard, no-strings (safe) sex, though. I’m as romantic as the next guy, but sometimes it's really nice to cut through all the bullshit schmoopiness and just get down to the business at hand.
i have never had and never will have anonymous sex. as long as it is safe, i judge no one who chooses that type of life; however, i need to love someone to sleep with them...further proof i am truly a lesbian at heart.
"When it comes to the subject of torture, I trust a woman who was married to James Cameron for three years."
-- Amy Poehler in praise of Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow
There's something great to be said about good, hard, no-strings (safe) sex, though. I’m as romantic as the next guy, but sometimes it's really nice to cut through all the bullshit schmoopiness and just get down to the business at hand.
Edited By flipp525 on 1234196917
"The mantle of spinsterhood was definitely in her shoulders. She was twenty five and looked it."
Penelope wrote:Which reminds me of one of the Wit & Wisdom from Datalounge: How do you know when a gay relationship is over? You cum.
sometimes i really hate being gay. not in a larry craig/ted haggard/roy cohen sort of way, but in the sense that men are terrible (myself included). trying to form a loving relationship with a man seems impossible. i know i am only 25 and should not base my opinion on a few bad relationships, but seriously it seems hopeless. i prefer being a gay man to being a straight man or straight woman, but i really wish i could be a lesbian. i am the kind of person who says "i love you" by the second date. i think i am a lesbian trapped in a gay man's body. :p
"When it comes to the subject of torture, I trust a woman who was married to James Cameron for three years."
-- Amy Poehler in praise of Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow
Penelope wrote:Connolly's friend Justin Long; Johansson's friend Drew Barrymore suffers through on-line dating while working at a local gay rag.
A friend of mine connected with a guy on manhunt and ended up going to his place. He turned out to be a totally pretentious jerk. Against his better judgment he let the guy fuck him, basically because he was horny and it was there. After the guy got off, he told my friend to get out (my friend hadn't "finished", so to speak). The guy, he later recognized, was none other than Justin Long.
Which reminds me of one of the Wit & Wisdom from Datalounge: How do you know when a gay relationship is over? You cum.
And thanks, Flipp, I just wish I could find a guy that *I* would be lucky to have.
"...it is the weak who are cruel, and...gentleness is only to be expected from the strong." - Leo Reston
"Cruelty might be very human, and it might be cultural, but it's not acceptable." - Jodie Foster
barrybrooks8 wrote:2. Pen, I thought you moved to Florida?
I moved to Florida in July, but try as I might, I could not find any work--the economy has really hit the Sunshine State hard. My brother lives in Dallas, so I decided to try the job hunt here. So far, no luck, but I have, at least, had a couple of interviews, which is better than I had in FL. I'm now casting the net nationwide.
The DGA is hiring a Visual History Specialist, which would be totally cool, except 1) they require knowledge of Apple Final Cut editing, which I don't have and 2) the salary is $28K, which strikes me as unbelievably low for Los Angeles--there's a historian position in West Virginia that starts at $35k, and that strikes me as pretty good for that area.
"...it is the weak who are cruel, and...gentleness is only to be expected from the strong." - Leo Reston
"Cruelty might be very human, and it might be cultural, but it's not acceptable." - Jodie Foster
Penelope wrote:Connolly's friend Justin Long; Johansson's friend Drew Barrymore suffers through on-line dating while working at a local gay rag.
A friend of mine connected with a guy on manhunt and ended up going to his place. He turned out to be a totally pretentious jerk. Against his better judgment he let the guy fuck him, basically because he was horny and it was there. After the guy got off, he told my friend to get out (my friend hadn't "finished", so to speak). The guy, he later recognized, was none other than Justin Long.
"The mantle of spinsterhood was definitely in her shoulders. She was twenty five and looked it."
Ok, this is going to be a bit of a long post, because the film happens to be of a piece with the whole weekend.
I'd been chatting online with a guy on gay.com and we decided to meet at Starbucks Sunday afternoon (today). Yesterday, I went with a friend to see He's Just Not That Into You, and afterwards, I decided to go out--I haven't gone out since I've come to Dallas (and I must be honest, I really don't care for Dallas--it's all highways, houses and strip malls, and lacks the vitality of, say, Chicago, though the weather is nicer [thus far]). Anyway, I met this guy last night and we talked and talked and I think we're hitting it off.
Soon, however, bells and whistles start going off--he doesn't like smokers, a guy he dates has to have a job, I let slip that I'm meeting the online guy Sunday afternoon and he practically demands that I cancel it--immediately, he's very possessive and controlling. Reluctantly, I agreed to meet him for lunch this afternoon and it was a disaster--it turned out it was with friends and he pretty much ignored me the whole time. A more uncomfortable scenario I can't imagine.
But I stood firm and met the online guy this afternoon; younger than me by about 12 years, but cute and smart. It went well and I look forward to seeing him again.
So, what does this have to do with He's Just Not That Into You? Well, it does recognize that gay relationships are a bit different than straight relationships, but not really all that much--emotions, communication, personalities have the same kind of impact in any kind of relationship. And, thus, the problem is that He's Just Not That Into You is far too facile in attempting to explore relationships, dating, affairs, etc.
The film jumps around 9 different people in Baltimore (the setting is barely utilized here--it might as well have been Cleveland): Jennifer Aniston is tired of waiting for longtime boyfriend Ben Affleck to marry her; Affleck's buddy Bradley Cooper is unhappily married to Aniston's co-worker Jennifer Connelly; another co-worker of Aniston and Connelly's, Ginnifer Goodwin, is clingy and desperate after going out on a date with Kevin Connolly, who pines for Scarlett Johansson, who's having an affair with Cooper; Goodwin gets advice from Connolly's friend Justin Long; Johansson's friend Drew Barrymore suffers through on-line dating while working at a local gay rag.
I haven't read the book this is based on, but the film isn't very good regardless. It's directed without flair by Ken Kwapis, and the script is trite and ultimately rather bland. There's two or three laugh-out-loud moments, but that's it. The characters are drawn rather thinly, and as a result some of the cast flail and fail: Aniston, Johansson and, especially, Barrymore give unflattering performances. The only real bright spots are Goodwin, who embodies her pathetic character without turning viewers off, and Jennifer Connelly, who finds a perfect balance between humor and pathos--her double-takes and reactions are marvelous, and the scene in which Cooper confesses to his affair--and the aftermath in which she goes beserk in their new home--is given considerable weight thanks to her strong performance.
But what the movie misses is the real complexity of relationships, the real feelings of doubt, confusion, joy, desire, and all that's wrapped up in such relationships. The movie seems like a rough draft that could've used some greater tinkering to make it truly effective.
"...it is the weak who are cruel, and...gentleness is only to be expected from the strong." - Leo Reston
"Cruelty might be very human, and it might be cultural, but it's not acceptable." - Jodie Foster
